Why I Still Follow Jesus

Nineteen years ago, I resigned from my position as an associate pastor of a wonderful church because I was disappointed. In them. In myself. In God. Throughout the Christian church it seemed that everything was about making church attractive to non-believers: the service (the big event), the program (not the ministry), the activities, the community. Endless servings of milk sans meat.

Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans?                         1 Corinthians 3:1-3

At the time, I had to make a choice between continuing as a "professional Christian" or return to the marketplace for what many call "a real job".  In fact, at one point I had three churches looking at me for various pastoral roles, two para-church organizations, and two marketplace job opportunities. Nothing was too appealing, but especially not the two para-church positions: one with Prison Fellowship and one with Amor Ministries.

My mom, Lois the queen of pragmatists, told me, "You will never know if you are supposed to serve God until you give it another try." For a variety of reasons, the seven opportunities narrowed to one - Amor Ministries. And eighteen years later, I am still here. Still following Jesus and still serving God.

This morning, after an amazing sermon at MissionGathering about God in Film featuring "The Fighter", I realized that I have been on the ropes for years.

Since my mom died in 1997 I have been in limbo, purgatory, a living hell waiting for God to do something. Anything. I have taken punch after punch waiting for the ref to call the fight and give me some relief. This sermon woke me up. Big time.

I realized, like Micky Ward, that it was MY TIME. I am a fighter. Always have been, but for too long I have been taking punches instead of delivering a few of my own.

There is a scene in the movie where Micky wakes up to the sound of church bells chiming and puts on his workout clothes, grabs his dusty gloves and walks to the gym to go back into training. He owns his own fight now.

I was talking with a friend today and I realized that the reason I still follow Christ is because of Amor. I work with a group of people who get up everyday ready to do what it takes to serve the poor. They don't make tons of money. There aren't a lot of perks. No cool clothes; unless you love blue-striped mechanics shirts with your name on them.

The Amor team loves God and serves the poor. We don't agree on everything. Sometimes we only agree on one thing - Jesus. Bottom line - this group is responsible for me still following Christ.

If I had gone to another church job, well, I would have been disappointed again. And quit again. If I had gone into a marketplace job, well, I would have been an extremely moral C&E Christian. Instead I went to work with a group of people who serve first and always.

What about you? What has kept you in the faith? Is it Joel Olsteen's Hope for Today Bible? I sincerely hope not. Was it the weekly pot-lucks? Was it who was in political office? Again, I hope not.

Was it the mission trip you went on early in your faith? Was it the project that helped a special need in your community? Was it the help your family received from your church when times were tough? I hope so. In fact, I bet on it.

Now, in the midst of trials - all temporary and all based in our fear of being uncomfortable - have you forgotten what kept you faithful? Have you increased your giving to political causes and cut missions? Have you stockpiled supplies in your 1,500 sqft home when others are going hungry? I hope not.

I want to be found faithful when Christ comes to stand between me and judgment. Faithful to what? To what Jesus was talking about:

He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”