****Warning Explicit Language In Use***
When is the right time to quit something? I have resigned from every job I have ever held. Lots of different reasons, but I always knew it was the right time to do it. That doesn't mean it was easy; it was harder every time.
This week the second of two layoffs were announced. Because we are publicly traded company it was in the news before it showed up in our in-boxes at work. Nice. In August 51 were let go; this week another 150 were laid off. This was a wholesale across the board no one was safe layoff. People with 10-15-20 years of experience were put out along with some newbies. And a guy died. Technically, he went into a coma before the announcement, but died during the same day. Sadness permeated our team which was on-site in DC with a client.
I was caught in the layoffs, but I didn't lose my job - I lost my role. My position in the Enterprise business unit was transitioned to the General Markets business unit. No pay or grade cut, but still it didn't feel good.
In addition to my role being bounced around the company -
no one can decide if they are going to allow me to finish the four
projects I am working on, or if they want to make a clean break. All day
yesterday and today I am receiving conflicting emails from people
trying to work it all out. I was on my last nerve.
Then at dinner last night with our team, Poophead (who
consistently irritated everyone including the client) who has wasted a
ton of time trying to do my job made this "I told you so" statement to
me about how his work from December that I didn't like is what the
client wanted all along. Which was not true. The client did NOT want it.
In fact, they wanted what I had asked him to do last week and he
refused to do. I completely lost my mind. I haven't escalated to that
level of anger outside of my family in probably 10 years. I called him
out on it and said, "You are slinging bullshit here and I am not going
to allow it to continue. If you had taken the path that I recommended
last week, you and I would not have looked so foolish to the client
today. Your ego keeps you from accepting insight, direction and it
definitely doesn't allow you to admit your own mistakes." He responded
with, "You weren't listening then." And our team lead jumped in and told
him, "NO! You weren't listening. Didn't you hear the client tell you
that you needed to stop talking about your ideas and listen to what
their needs are?" I excused myself and stood up to walk to the ladies
room so I could cool off alone when he tossed out, "Well I still have MY
job....." Meaning I was being moved to another division and lost mine. I
whipped around and walked back to the table where I proceeded to finish
him off with some well-chosen words on his need to be right at the
expense of the team. In addition I told him he should think long and
hard before he implies that my transfer was a reflection of my work ever
again because I won't tolerate friendly fire. When I have something to
say, I deal straight forward and he better get it out on the table right
After all that, it got better and he admitted that he was defensive
because he knew I was supposed to be replacing him on the job (which all
changed with my role change, but he won't be staying on the project
because the client doesn't like him at all). We were able to work
through the issues for the client right there and had a good design for
That said, I was aghast and embarrassed that I lost my temper
like that. I just don't do that with non-family, and even with family I
rarely allow myself to get to that level. I know all my defenses were
down because of the lay-offs and the role change plus my foot/leg were
hurting like it was on fire, but still....so disappointed in myself.
So do I stay or do I go? That's the hard decision. I intentionally chose this job because I thought it would be more stable than in a non-profit. Not so much. When I left my last job I didn't know what I didn't know, but now I do in spades. I hate being in a job where all my soft skills are not in use, but do I want to lead people again? If I have to lead someone like Poophead, no!
How do I know when to leave? Do I put out a fleece? Perhaps.
God knows. Just wish He would share a little more.