Friday, May 10, 2013

Character Challenges

Who are you when no one is watching? Do you have character, integrity, or moral fiber?

One of the early lessons in my life was that character matters. It seemed that people who lied, cheated and manipulated got ahead in the short-term, but eventually paid a bigger price for it.

In the last couple of years, I have wrestled with God, myself and my beliefs over major issues. From moral questions such as, if I am pro-choice, would I work for Planned Parenthood? To making a stand for the rights of homosexuals to marry and be an integral part of the Christian community. To relatively minor decisions of accepting responsibility for backing into a parked car when absolutely no one saw me do it, and returning to pay for an item that on the bottom of my cart and was missed.

However, it wasn't until I attended a lovely fondue party hosted by LaDonna Barron and Amor co-founder Gayla Congdon to introduce us to Stop the Traffik, a global movement to end human trafficking that I faced my greatest challenge - stop being a part of human trafficking.

It seemed simple at first - don't eat chocolate that isn't certified as free trade. No problem as I don't eat that much chocolate. And coffee, well, that's totally worth the price increase.

Then a friend challenged me financially. The tragedy in Bangladesh brought to light that much of the garment industry is built on the backs of the poor and the oppressed. And it continues:
This comes as a fire at a Bangladeshi sweater manufacturer killed another eight people yesterday. The death toll in Bangladesh is a third of the people who died in the 9/11 attacks. It is 1004 more than died in the Boston bombings and 979 more than died in the Sandy Hook shooting massacre. The victims of the building collapse were mostly young men and women. Simon McRay, national manager at Ethical Clothing Australia, says while responsibility for sourcing clothes ethically lies with retailers, consumers must realise cheap clothing is cheap for a reason. "If you're going to buy cheap fashion you're buying exploitation there's no two ways around it," Mr McRay said.
And cheap is my favorite word which is why I often shop at Walmart instead of another choice. However that stops today. I will not purchase anything nor shop anywhere that I know is either contributing to the oppression of individuals or is under-employing their staff to avoid providing basic benefits. It may be a big-box store, a major retailer, the tire manufacturer, or even the restaurant that has illegals doing the behind-the-scenes work for less pay. It means asking hard questions and reading labels. It means pulling my 401k out of investments that support those things. It means paying more for the betterment of our world. It means taking a stand with the one thing that matters to all of us - money.

Who are you going to be when no one is watching?

Monday, April 22, 2013

Disclosure

I found an organization that promotes justice in the world. They do it in the name of Christ and his church. I was excited about their mission, their work, and the opportunities to serve with them.

Then, I saw that I would have to submit my conversion journey, a list of my biblical practices with commentary on my prayer life along with my church information. The more I wrote, the more I didn't like the idea of blindly sending my personal story into an organization who will judge, on who knows what standard, my "Christian-ness".

So I stopped right there.

Had they asked me those questions during an interview, I would have gladly shared. However to allow them to prejudge my faith journey just seemed a little too invasive for me.

Guess my liberal ways are catching up with me...once again!

Monday, March 4, 2013

Just saying

I was taught that the idea of covenant is looking to the best interests of another ahead of your own. I finally realized that I do not have a covenant relationship with anyone. This will be the greatest regret of my life if this does not change. In fact it may be what is impeding my relationship with God.

I've come to the conclusion that having lost my vision, my dream job, and my Beach house have culminated in the greatest depression I've had in 10 years.

While I am not a person who would commit suicide I can say that tonight is one of those moments where I understand how suicide can become an option for some people. Rest assured I'm too stubborn to ever contemplate suicide.

I need to spend the next six weeks while my eyes are healing also seeking to heal this pain that comes from low self-worth and a lack of relationship. Actually I should start with God. However my family is coming to visit this weekend and I think I'll start there.

Sometimes I wonder if God had answered my prayers and I had become 5 foot 10, 105 pounds and a natural blonde if I wouldn't be in the same exact place today. How I was created is not the root of my problem. How I have been shaped is.

This is merely a bump in the road. A big ass speedbump mind you. However merely a bump.

They say that addicts have to hit bottom before they stop bad behaviors. I am addicted to many many things. Food. Coffee. The past. What might have been. What never was. If I want to live longer than my parents did, then I have to kick start the rest of my life and soon!

Hi my name is Wendy and my addictions need to stop today.